"Way back in the 1980's secret government employees dug up famous guys and ladies...

...and made amusing genetic copies."

Finals are coming up. So many papers due and a research proposal that I'm trying to get together to send to a few UCSC profs so I can actually DO the research when I get back to Santa Cruz. I think it's going to end up being a case study utilizing textual analysis and (if I'm lucky) interviews.

I've been a bit depressed- mostly because I haven't really been taking care of my studies and have been focusing a lot of my energies on my lover- because it's a convenient and accessible distraction. And when I turn that energy on myself this is what I come up with:

So the above is a conceptual map for my research proposal/Critical Studies in Sexualities and my Feminist Qualitative Research Methods course. I think the super specific point of how regimented curriculum of California Performance Improvement (Level 1, Year 3) schools grades K-5 informs student understandings of violence (interpersonal, sexual and domestic violences....which is at the top left side of the big map)...I meet with my Feminist Qualitative Research Methods Prof tomorrow morning and I'm going to go over this with her...see if she can help turn it into a coherent paper.
But I'm feeling overwhelmed because the books I want/need for research were checked out of the library and/or at the Okanagan campus (which requires a request- something to take care of tommorrow) ugh!

Because of this research project I have made the conscious decision to NOT do my psych paper which was due today (it was worth 10% of my grade but I didn't feel that 5-7 pages citing 7 empirical sources was worth so little). I care more about the project above. And I am also doing research on takarazuka and Sinjuku Boys for my Women and Gender Studies 325 presentation on Drag Kings that is happening next Thursday. I am also doing some research into the San Francisco Drag King community as a way to culturally situate the Drag King. But Takarazuka juxtaposed with Sinjuku Boys is so rich already. mmmmmm tastes like genderf*ck.

For the same class I am also doing research to write a paper on (and it gets a bit tricky- I don't have a solid thesis) how 'The F Word' episode of South Park utilizes violent language in an attempt to negate the violence associated with the word. The word is 'fag' (I have such a strong dislike for this word- even when it is evoked by those in the queer community to describe themselves) and in the episode it attempts to no longer make it a prejorative term towards the gay/queer community. Instead the boys succeed in shifting the definition to evoke violence against Harley Davidson Riders. So- yes language is amorophus, and meanings change within a given cultural and historical context (hell- look at the word 'gay') however, I find it irresponsible and not at all progressive to graph the violence of this term (or any other term) onto other bodies (apologies for those of you whom heard all this via facebook). So...I'm struggling to keep it narrow whilst simultaneously being critical. And have been reading about language violence (which is a violence often ignored) as a way to encite physical and sexual violences.

Maybe it's all this exposure to certain violences (and having someone quite upleasant pop back up in my life last week) that is stirring up memories of my own abuses. A little bit of PTSD to go with the S.A.D. that is making me upset and depressed. hmmmm hadn't thought of that until this moment.

I've also been going out a fair bit. Dancing. Hanging out with friends. Going to the gym and I would now like to give you a moment of my vanity. Today, feeling blue, I went shopping at the Salvation Army where I aquired a new pair of "incentive pants" which are pants that fit but yeild a muffin top. And the pants are size 8. That means I am (in terms of clothes size) HALF the size I was a year ago. I also FINALLY got my new threadless T-shirt. I decided to be brave and order a Medium (I've previously only ordered XL's) and it came today as wel so I put the two together and took pics.

Now...don't be confused I still have a roll over when I sit- because I still have squish in my gut, and like I said the size 8s are a bit snug. But that's okay. I'm working to be more comfortable with the squish and, upon my return to Santa Cruz will be engaging in serious toning, muscle and strength building. awww yeah!

 

 

*sings* Who's the vain-iest grrl around? SARAH- that's who!

and I have NO idea wtf is on the mirror...gross. I put the ones from September in there as a way to compare/contrast. David Bowie (the red shirt) fits way better now than it did then as well.

so that pretty much sums up my life at this point....I'm glad we had this talk *wink*